Yoga Class or Full-Body Betrayal?

 I laid out my yoga mat like a pro.

Stretched once and heard a bone say, “Nope.”
My hamstrings called their lawyer.
Every pose felt like a final exam.
I attempted downward dog.
Ended up in sad slug position.
Even the instructor looked concerned.
Yoga is supposed to bring peace…
But my body declared war.
Namaste? Nah, I’m-a-stay lying down.